If you saw someone in front of you who was suffering mentally, what would you do for the person?
Would you think of a solution for that person?
Or would you first offer a kind word?
If you are the former, you may be a thinking type, and if you are the latter, you may be a feeling type.
Which Comes First, Logic or Emotion?
When people make a decision, some will make it based on logic (e.g., “right or wrong”), while others will make it based on emotion (e.g., “like or dislike”).
That is the difference between the thinking type and the feeling type.
Characteristics of Thinking types
Thinking types tend to prioritize logic over emotion in everything.
The thinking types do not agree with illogical opinions.
Even if the person voicing that opinion is a friend of theirs.
But they might agree with an even adversary’s opinions as long as they are only logical.
That is, thinking types don’t have their judgment influenced by their mood at the time.
Characteristics of Feeling types
Feeling types tend to make decisions with consideration for the feelings and relationships of others.
As a result, they tend to adopt a wrong idea simply because it doesn’t damage the relationship, even though no one believes it to be the right idea.
Straightforward or Euphemistic
There is a big difference between thinking types and feeling types in communication.
For example, suppose someone presents a plan for a new project at a meeting.
But you found out that there was a problem with the project.
How would you point out the problem and demand the person to try it again?
If you are a thinking type …
First, you would frankly inform the other party of the problem with the plan and demand that they rethink it.
If you are a Feeling type…
First, you would thank the other party for their hard work in planning the project.
Then as point out some excellent points of the project and hint at areas for improvement.
By that, you would encourage them to change it voluntarily.
There is a reason why each type of person communicates in this way.
Thinking types try to be clear when communicating requirements to others.
This is because they want people to be clear and assume that others will expect the same way, too.
On the other hand, the feeling types are worried that the person whose project is rejected will be hurt, so they deliberately say it in a roundabout way.
The difference between the thinking types and feeling types’ personalities leads to dissatisfaction with each other.
Thinking types have the following idea:
If “Feeling types” don’t like doing it, they should say “No” outright.
But they always say it in a roundabout way, which confuses me.
Feeling types have the following idea:
Why do “Thinking types” always use such a hurtful remark when a softer tone would be sufficient?
Solution or Empathy
Let’s say you are talking to someone about your problem.
If you are a thinking type, how would you like the person to give you advice?
Probably, you would want the person to give you a logical and concrete solution to your problem based on objective analysis.
And you might be impressed with the person who gave you such advice, saying, “What a kind person!”
However, how would you feel if that person didn’t give you any specific advice?
You would probably be very frustrated.
On the other hand, if you are a feeling type, what do you want the person to say?
Perhaps you would like them to show empathy for you first.
You would expect them to say, “I know exactly how you feel.”
And if that person encouraged you with kind words, you would feel as if you had already solved the problem, even if the person didn’t give you any helpful advice, right?
However, how would you feel if the person started to give you a solution from the beginning?
Although you know that you are getting a helpful answer, you wouldn’t feel that you are happy.
In this way, a thinking type and a feeling type have different characteristics and therefore have different expectations of others.